Read Part 1 here.
Let’s start things off with another theory of mine: Ladies hold their “value” in importance; meaning to say that if some guy whom they just met a week ago were to ask her out, and she says yes, instantaneously her perceived “value” would drop. Which makes sense: He didn’t really have to work extremely hard, thus not appreciating her as much.
What does this mean to the Men? Take. It. Slow. Society dictates that the Ladies get courted by Men, and they get that a lot. They enjoy choices, and deservingly so, as the fairer of the sexes. Why am I saying all this? Don’t get discouraged when she rejects you / doesn’t show interest early in the friendship. She’s looking out for her own value as well, that’s why playing “hard-to-get” is logical for her. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
If you ask me, the “optimal” period between first knowing her and asking her out on a date is 2 months, give or take two weeks. It’s the time when you’ve known her enough for her to feel comfortable going out on a date with you, and also not too long that you might run the risk of being “friendzoned“.
I’ve heard of many success relationship stories from my female friends, and a lot of them start with: “Oh when we just met, he got my number from my friend/added me on Facebook and started texting me about non-romantic/useless/无聊 things for 1-2 months before asking me out.” It works, my fellow brothers. Now go forth my children, make me proud.
One last thing I want to leave you with, which is a term I coined myself: Relationship foreplay (yeah, cover your kids’ ears). I’m going to go all 50 Shades of Grey now so you can skip to the next paragraph if you’re not into that kinda thing. Getting into a relationship is kind of like sex, the better the foreplay, the greater the actual sex. If you dive into it too early, there isn’t any build-up and the sex would be mediocre. But if you take too long, the mood might be long gone.
The message: Enjoy the courtship; don’t think of the relationship as the destination. It’s the journey that counts.